i just posted a lake picture of you with a dead fish in your mouth. happy july 5th.
i can totally see doctors naming an STD after you
nothing like a tattoo of a large eagle attacking a small eagle whos attacking a shark to bond to siblings together for life
I'm sorry for peeing on your door. But it was your decision to open it.
Fuck underwear. Let's get stoned and eat ravioli.
My dad is so drunk he attempted to ride my two year old cousin's tricycle. For a solid five minutes.
Everyone else in class agrees the weed smell is coming from me
I tried to find the bar, ended up at a car dealership. Then the alarms went off.
Who showers for four hours?!
It was like a tropical nap.
When asked if they had been introduced, Damo said "No but I know we've pretty much fucked all the same girls in town"
Just took physics exam. I think this is one of those 'chuck it in the fuck-it bucket and become an art major' days
I'm pretty sure his cum gave me swimmer's ear.
I mean, if there was a version of you with a penis, you'd fuck it...right? Like just outta curiosity at least
90% sure the total babe I have been talking to all night has a kid. Ugh, so sad right now.
Im so high
Also fucking you night and morning and then serving your parents breakfast is a bit awkward. And funny. To me.
Randomize
