She's helping me study for the final by writing the vocab words all over her body.
it's kind of nice to have a picture of me making out with someone and actually know who it is for once
is it still called a breakup if its your friends boyfriend that you have stopped sleeping with?
Fuck at this point id do just about anything for 20 bucks
That has been your downfall in past encounters with 20 dollars bills
Just found an "inspected with pride" sticker on or around my vagina
No if my life depended on you fingering me just let me die
I'm having one of my monday morning walk of shame coffees if you care to join.
All i'm saying is it doesn't matter how drunk you were, at 26 years of age you should always remember to take down you pants before you shit in the toilet
My mouth taste like pussy and my dad noticed. Hahahaha
All you had to say was "damn dude that looks fun, I miss ice fishing." But you sent a picture of poop. Classy
I ran into the kitchen halfway through hooking up cause I forgot I put the cookies on the oven too high. Came back and she was gone but the only thing I could think about was all the extra cookies I could eat now. Got through about 6 before I realized why she left.
Well that was the first and last time I've had to write "divorce party" on a request time off form. I'm throwing it for my mom. What is my life turning into.
GETTING HORNY AT RANDOM IS REALLY FUCKING INCONSIDERATE.
I just heard a crying baby from out my apartment window and yelled SAME
She told me the next morning I stared at her tits for like 15 minutes with binoculars from only a few seats away.
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