my clit piercing makes the metal detector go off
I may or may not be drunk driving a golf cart. Vegaaaassssssss.
I just finished washing your number off of my chest. I'm Bryan by the way.
Is there anything medically wrong with drinking beer from a vagina?
How did the beer even get there in the first place?
That's not what's important right now
after he gave me a diploma for giving him amazing head, getting a regular diploma isnt all that cool.
just got double teamed by two guys I will be on beach patrol with this summer. six months until the season starts and I'm already 'that girl.'
We found them in a dumpster making out trying to get their privacy
the only good thing about breaking up with him while naked was that i got to make a forgetting sarah marshall reference
There comes a time where you just have to sit back and watch the drunken idiots pee on each other
The night went downhill when he lit her purse on fire and tried putting it out with vodka
Basically, what i'm trying to say is, if you don't have something, excuse or gift, to satisfy my anger i am going to look you in the eye and piss on the floor.
Ok. I'll enjoy the quiet (translation: I might be naked, call ahead if you come home tonight)
Seriously, even though I keep it clean, I could douse it in bleach and set it on fire and still not be comfortable with you actually holding it. It's been in my VAGINA.
In all honesty the person most likely to secretly slip me drugs would be ... Me
2020 sucks, I want a refund
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