Ok im wearing a joe flacco jersey and full stick on unibrow and hardly anyone else dressed up omg
Omg suz!! take the unibrow off
No! im just getting hammered instead
And then he came out of the bathroom in a kimono
he was actually really polite. he asked before he came on my chest because he "wasn't sure my stance on it".
He's at the gym. He likes to get high and swim cause it makes him feel like a fish.
everyday i become more and more impressed with my facebook stalking skills
His threats seemed pretty legit for a 6 year old
nothing worse than sitting down ready for a solid porn sesh to find out your internet is out. comcast owes me a handjob
Having a race with the dryer. Seeing who can get drunk/dry clothes faster.
Your mom just threw up on me. Please come home.
I'm 25 and she is 19. She wants to practice blowjobs on me because of my stamina. Not only does the GI bill pay for me to go to school I am teaching a freshman blowjob course. I love Texas.
I didn't just randomly come up with it. But if you want to give me extra credit for creativity I have a bare chest and chocolate sauce left
I'm still hoping for it dude. Random north dakota pussy. If my 16 year old self knew that these were my dreams he would so try to beat me up, and i think he could.
How on earth did you break your wrist?
I went into someone's yard so I could pee and I found a tireswing
I just heard a crying baby from out my apartment window and yelled SAME
Shit happens dude.
Shit doesn't just HAPPEN on the kitchen floor you asshole.
Randomize
