I think men at large are the problem in most or all relationships. It's like trying to drag a three-legged retarded puppy through an obstacle course
He saved me in his phone as Easy Jen. Should I be offended?
I wouldn't worry about it. He has me as "Sex Puppet."
I look like a sausage in jean shorts, you should have woken up earlier and approved my outfit.
Well he paid for dinner, so I paid for the Plan B, but the parking ticket I got is totally his responsibility.
that's the last time we turn jepordy into a drinking game.
It's take your daughter to work day... I really shouldn't be here right now
I left my pipe in my center console with a bowl packed when I took my car to the shop, and when I picked it up the weed had been smoked, but my oil change was only half price.
What happened to the good old days when we whispered the words beer pong and people came running?
I've made out with more people in 2014 than I did the whole fall semester
No other awkward car ride can beat the one you give your drug dealer home.
Hey I'm coming to get my gin do you want a good luck blowjob for your exam tmrw
He asked me if I've ever had my ass ate and there was no polite way to say yeah your brother's pretty in to that 😂 I went with "no"
I want a dick in my left hand and a Crunch Wrap Supreme in my right hand.
Did you make it home alright?
No I'm sitting under a tree by a cricket. He's alone crying out for someone to Fuck him. This guy gets me.
I accidentally just texted my dad asking if he wants to do shrooms with me. Do I leave the city now or...
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