We should go out drinking together soon
I'm still not going to have sex with you
Are you kidding me. My sex life has diminshed to having wet dreams about jerking off.
I can't get a boner in the bathroom of a buffet.
On the bright side, at least we arent the generation raised by fucked up teen moms.
the last thing i remember saying is "hope you like body hair"
Beware of calls from Dad. I just had a longer than I would care to admit convo about the ididarod. Apparently it starts tomorrow.
In case you were unaware playing with rabbits on ecstasy is the greatest thing ever. I feel like I'm ODing on adorable right now.
you're being stingy. if you didnt want people to have sex on your couch, you shouldve specifically said so.
Hey, hey, hey, hey. This is a hurriCAN.
Dating Detox Day 5: had to go out and buy new batteries. this may be harder than I thought
I invented the best game. It's called "what touched my exposed nutsack?" It can range from pillows to toothbrushes
Yeah, nothing like barfing into a grocery bag you just put dog shit into.
Were you seriously humming twinkle twinkle little star while cupping my balls?
I feel like that xmas present negates everything we were taught as little girls. Putting out DOES pay. God bless us everyone
"You can have sex in my class, just stay quiet. I don't like noise." My professor... Shall make for an interesting semester.
Randomize
