the ice cream truck is coming omgomg
dude, it's 2 am.
but its COMING
Most the numbers in my phone are mistakes. It's a virtual graveyard of people I should never pick up for.
Going to eat lunch. Bunch of people in church clothes, and we are hungover, wearing pajamas, and in real danger of puking on the floor. We're about to destroy the ambience of this joint.
i just identified you from a description of your pipe
He had in his status he loved beating off and tagged his wife. another reason facebook should be for college.
My dad just questioned my drinking habits... Clearly he doesn't know what kind of college education he's paying for
seriously, i am too high for the omelet station to be playing Being For The Benefit Of Mr Kite at 7am
drunk enough to drink jager bombs out of a bowl on the kitchen floor.
spotted: something called the tunnel of opression. i feel like if we patricipated we wouldnt even be phased or we could run it better than them
If you get me so fucked up I can't use the microwave , I'm going to be so mad at you
It's just weird. It's like Big Bird dating Meg Griffin.
I'll truly miss your penis but your use of words and phrases such as bae, yolo, swag, and totes have ruined how attractive you once were.
I know it's my dream I got hurt enough to leave work but not hurt enough to stop drinking
if it makes u feel better, i skipped class so i could go to a sex convention in jersey a few hours earlier than if i went to class.
MY TITS JUST CAUSED A CAR ACCIDENT ON THE HIGHWAY! i kid you not!! i thinl the giy is actually dead
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