Is making out on a toilet while he is sitting down and pissing weird? cause that's what happened last night
I'm like connect-the-dots of drunk. Whiskey, bourbon, vodka, rum, gin. The hidden picture is me faceplanting.
Apparently getting drunk, buying a guitar from your local costco and walking in to an open mic night is not the same as rocking out to guitar hero...
Sitting on the floor in my kitchen eating taquitos. Being this drunk the next day has lost its allure post graduation.
I feel like i could break down a fucking wall with this boner
Soooo, coming over soon?
I cannot tell if the couch is cold or I spilled beer. THAT kind of night.
It is a sign that I need a fresh start when Kelly Clarksons new album tells the story of my life.
The last thing I remember was naked hot tub and taking a shot and using the hot tub water as a chaser. Not acceptable.
Was considering going to moonshine but I think I'm just gonna stay home and drink beer because there is no law against partial nudity here.
If I send Ben a tit pic but I do it while wearing a Tom Brady mask is that funny or creepy
All I remember about last st pattys day was I was in a bathtub with full bubbles, fully clothed, drinking out of a flamingo lawn ornament that someone cut a hole in.
McDonald's and a car nap. I feel kinda human
The dick lei will go down in squad history
Just zoned back in to real life and found myself chanting "noodle eater noodle eater noodle eater" at my parrot as he devoured a single macaroni
Are you opposed to me trying out your penis?
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