FUCK TREES I CLIMB BUOYS MOTHERFUCKER
STOP listening to that song
Bad idea pregaming graduation.... she just threw up before walking across the stage... i'm gonna miss this
cell reception changed and I can no longer text you from the toilet... that means I'll be texting you less often, just fyi
He put used condom on the handle of the plunger in the bathroom.
That penis you're staring at is the penis of heartbreak. Stay away. It will break your heart AND keep you away from other penises. BACK. OFF. THE PENIS.
Just met another girl you fucked but this time in seattle. Your cock gets almost as much mileage as jet blue. Anaheim and seattle both say hi, figured you don't remember their names.
you're asking me why i keep burn ointment in my purse.... do you really want to know the answer to that question?
I just woke up and my mouth tastes like I licked the bathroom floor in the last ghetto bar we were in. I'm going to get my mouth checked for chlamydia. Do I see a dentist for that?
made the entire pub sing the british national anthem, puked, rallied, then peed in a telephone booth and have pictures to prove it, taking tourism to another level since 2012.
I don't mean to ruin your favorite Disney movie...but...we both came when Mufasa died.
This is what we get for YOLOing our way to obesity
I'm wearing spiderman underwear, the question is what am I NOT capable of
I'm high. The text bubbles floating do no justice to the underwater experiences
Just broke into the basement of my house via my american red cross blood donor card. I officially save lives
Heyyyy, naked guy in your kitchen, can i ask you a quick question about a legal situation in pb??
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