I think that we as people have rights and that we should at the very least be warned before being subjected to Fergie
It was just so hard to get through Conan without crying like a baby. I'm just so proud of him.
sooo i think when i get back from rothbury i should probably take a pregnancy test
but you would be showing by now. i'd just save the money and wait for a large crap in 6 months that starts crying. then you'll know.
is this the only place in the world where you can get shot on one side of town, and have to stop for cows crossing the street on the other side?
God. I look like such a fucking stand up guy wearing polo shirts. You would totally trust me not to date rape you.
I just accidentally handed the ticket lady a condom instead of the intended ticket. I am now the official whore of Harry Potter.
I'm seriously so bored I'm seeing how many rooms I can masturbate in before I get caught.
Four. Poor grandma...
theres no cameras in the kitchen right? cause i dont wana get fired for peeing in the kitchen in a cup
he shattered multiple jars of jelly against his roommates doors last night. this morning the asian one wouldn't even talk to him because he thought he was gonna get beaten up
Just so you know, the bottle of red gatorade is NOT GATORADE. It is definitely someone's puke. I hope nobody else makes the same mistake I did.
We held a candle light vigil outside the jail hoping for her release, until we realized we were drunk in the jail parking lot.
Reasonably certain my seventh grade teacher is encouraging me to drop acid on twitter
fucked a girl in the dry storage closet at work. knocked over a whole rack of tomato paste and pinto beans. and also i really hope my manager doesn't review this footage from the security camera
Can I just fuck someone without it basically becoming an arranged marriage
My cat is sitting in the window watching the neighbor's dogs doing it. I think she's lonely too.
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