This is how scared I get when I ride roller coasters. And how scared I was when I had to poop when I had herpes.
There is somethin about your sexuality that makes my dick do jumping jacks when I see you
you know its a sad night when you can actually see and hear sitcoms on at the bar
I returned her cell phone that I found in the bathroom, I felt the stretcher and the ambulance was enough of a learning experience.
I swallowed for you. Answer the phone.
I dont care what I am for halloween, as long as i'm not a father after
So my niece decided to play "lets make shapes out of your bruises" with me and told me that one of them looks like a shark bite. Bravo, sir. Bravo.
I have a huge bruise on my thigh that I am 95% sure is due to you repeatedly throwing me over couches.
i remember going to sleep after the 4th time i threw up this morning and hoping i didn't have to again because then it would be uneven between saturday and sunday. my ocd is getting out of control
Before we rave about the healing powers of your penis, remember it nearly killed me as well.
It all started with a game of naked twister.
He took a shot of vodka and AND ATE ME OUT AS A CHASER. YESSS. I AM IN LOVE.
We were fucking in the bedroom then we heard Sports center on in the living room. He stopped midfuck when I started celebrating that my team won over his
I cut him off because he was changing my thermostat every time he came over
You made the right decision
He smells like sex and magic. I’m already naming our children
Maybe you should talk to him first
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