If I was on drugs, this would be amazing
No, a stripper letting you buy her dinner is not the same as a girlfriend.
You asked the dj to play 'who let the dogs out" because it was your birthday. You left the bar and then re-entered to the song
he might be the rich husband I pretend to love for the rest of my life!!!!
Birthday Treasure Hunt was to follow the clues. At each spot there was a stick on tattoo and a shot and at the end there was 2 cases of beer. I have 13 tattoos and don't remember turning 18.
130 PACKAGES of glow sticks! The going rate of a rave is $38.30! GET READY FOR THE GLORGY!!!!!!!!!!!!
You kept showing the cop the bruises on the bottoms of your feet and claiming you were a medical mystery.
fun fact #6 about tuesday nights: giving head with two 40s taped to your hands is not as easy as you would think
that's how you measure success
By how bad my vagina hurts on a Tuesday morning while I'm trying to figure out how I got white girl wasted on a Monday?
I said "sucks to suck" to a cop last night. We've been snapchatting.
all i tweeted was "emergency this is not a drill" and he immediately texted me asking if this was a subtle booty call…it was
Went to put my shoe on and asked myself why I left a sock in it. I didn't. Needless to say I found our used condom.
This love triangle bullshit is getting out of hand. It's now a love polygon and I want out
I just threw up on the way to class. Legit, on the sidewalk by psych building.
THAT WAS YOU? Psych prof just pointed out the window and said "that kids, is why you don't pregame before class"
Bud light made chelada as a breakfast for those of us with class at 8 am
Randomize
