You're boyfriend is farting in his sleep. The last one sounded like a threat.
Pish posh, there's never a bad time to eat food off my body.
We walked in and the first thing we heard was, "OH SHIT! White chicks!" Naturally, I made some new male friends.
he matches the description of mystery hookup #2, 4, and 7
I only made out with him because he cured my hiccups
Remember how I haven't seen my step sister in like 7 years? Pretty sure I just made out with her...
She twisted her ankle and paid a homeless guy for a piggy back ride home from the bar.
Excuse me hold on, hooking up with someone who is verified on twitter is like being important.
we found him passed out on the baseball field with two 40oz and wearing a tophat.
Where did he get the tophat?
i'll llet you know if at any point this night starts to make any sense
Turns out Edward 40 hands and life-sized jenga is really hard...Didn't stop you from trying. How is your concussion?
He was telling me about how he's leaving on his Mission next week... While we were having sex in the back of his car.
I can't remember what I did last night, but judging from the state of my hair I had a pretty good time.
test was negative. but nancy drew has yet to solve the case of the missing period.
MY DINNER LAST NIGHT CONSISTED OF SEMEN AND A PROTEIN SHAKE... MY TRAINER WOULD BE PROUD I DIDN'T HAVE CARBS!
Randomize
