we had sex three times last night.. but now im just wet from him crying on my stomach about how much he misses his ex.. awesome
My phone now changes "me" to "mrrrrrrrrh", thank you new years.
Woke up naked in another mans house. If that keeps happening, then I probably need to go gay. You know to make it ok.
I learned the names of so many hookups when they read them at graduation
I justified spending $400 stocking my bar to my sister by saying it was an investment
Personally I think it's a tremendous investment
I don't really know I'm just giving her a key to get back in and the "don't get pregnant speech" and leaving it at that.
Can we ask the Hungry Howie's guy to pick up some blunt wraps on the way over?
hey, its the girl who gave you a bloody nose and paid you back with a blow job. have you seen my shoes?
Whatever. I'm just trying to get my dick sucked while taking online harmonica lessons
Only you would have to block the fucking governor of Tennessee from reading your tweets
I lost my bra, he lost his virginity. Seems like a fair trade off.
Peanut butter and whiskey is not a dinner
Our prom king just sent me a dick pic. I know it's 10 years later but I feel like I've finally made it.
It's my birthday, dammit, and I'm getting something for free. I don't care if it's just a drink at the bar.
YOU CAN GET THIS DICK FOR FREE
"Fwd: Nice to meet you last night thanks for the tit flash" no recollec. i am officially banned from wearing tube tops to the bar.
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