I don't understand why some guys want to have a huge conversation while standing at the urinal with cock in hand...
Hung over. Bed full of legos for some reason. Not getting up. Come build stuff with me.
One last question would your parents let me sleep in your bathtub for the night?
I like to think of them as justice herpes. She cheats on me and gets more than she bargained for.
I hate that you live in a gated community. I feel your guard judges me every time I go to your house at 3 am an leave at 5am
Was my shirt on fire at any point last night? Because I'm fairly sure my shirt was on fire.
So ran into your ex from sophomore year last night... Apparently hes gay and a stripper now. we all got lap dances because we knew you
I can't tell if my bong is gender-neutral or not
Awkward sister question: which game of thrones female left would you fuck?
Dude I should have just gone home with the guy with dreads and the cat
This is the fourth day in a row I woke up with cheetos spread around me in a ritual pattern..this weed is unreal
I am sitting in my lingerie, eating frozen cookie dough out of a bowl, and watching family. My hump day is going great
I can count on one hand the number of good things that happened over the past year.
i found you laying on the floor staring at the ceiling and you kept muttering "why" in various inflections.
Only in this town do you have a bridesmaid shortage due to pregnancies.
Randomize
