The maid of honor just puked.
Any toy can be an adult toy. Location, location, location.
is it bad that while shopping i looked specifically for clothes that hold their form after taking them off and putting them on again and again?
I got my period while he was fingering me , I knew it because I never get that wet.
Did u at least say sorry?
I'm going to email her once I get off the bathroom floor
I'm glad we're going to catch up. too bad it's over my vagina.
Haha! I've never met his girlfriend, so my main focus will be not saying,"you're the only person in this room that doesn't know what my vagina feels like."
People are stripping in McDonalds. Do I join?
YES.
I just woke up on an unfamiliar floor, my shoes are gone, my suits covered in red lipstick and chocolate, and Im wearing sunglasses that say "Maid of Honor".God damnit I love this country.
Lesson learnt. Sex toy cleaning spray is not an acceptable substitute to clean your glasses with.
Just when I thought I was growing up, I go out and TOTALLY REDEEM MYSELF
The notary thing was a good idea. I can charge $2 per signature. I'm currently being paid in beer.
I'm now forever going to blame miss frizzle for making me the sexual deviant that I am today
We woke up today with 24 donuts, a tie, two jugs of vodka that we traded an extra sandwich for, and a british boy
she filled my toilet with birdseed... i tried flushing it but now it's clogged so she has to come over and fix it because it was her mistake in the first place
Randomize
