I projectile vomited into my sink. Jealous?
Kind of. My puke would have just dribbled down my chin and missed the sink completely.
Ohh that happened after I started to cry.
even in my darkest moments, having another person eat my jizz would make me smile
All i remember before i blacked out is you pointing to a random chick and telling me to bang her for America.
MY DOG FOUND A BAG OF COKE ON THE SIDE OF THE ROAD!!!!!!!!!!!
AND ITS GOOD STUFF TOO!!!!!! AHHH!!!!!!
weed salsa. i deserve a nobel prize
i woke up next to a ladle and a packet of chocolate biscuits that my face had melted into one giant biscuit.
There are too many people on this bus for it to be even REMOTELY okay that I'm wearing a puke covered sweater
Just gave a gay guy pointers on how to make anal not hurt. Reevaluation of life choices: in progress.
The kid in the park, who was on a leash I might add, looked at us and yelled "stranger danger" before hiding behind his dad
I blame it on the rum. It keeps jumpng doqn my throst.
it was like fucking a Mumford & Sons song
It's the warm chocolate goeyness of a brownie combined with the heavenly taste of weed-smell... Why have I never done this before?
FINALLY GOT MY TENTH DICK. PARTY FOREVER
I think she tried to suffocate me with her tits...she almost succeeded.
Omg I got up from his bed and almost did a header into the wall because I came so many times I forgot how to walk.
Randomize
