All I want to do is go home, strip down to my pants, get in the shower and pee down my leg
It's not littering; it's giving birds nest building suplies. Besides, birds love soy sauce and plastic forks.
He said i was a degenerate twofaced catholic slut and a grade a bitch. Quite complimentary really. i guess i shouldn't insult the red wings
I drank gravy. I actually drank gravy. This is heaven.
Pretty sure that drunken football on the back porch with 6 guys with a champagne bottle was a bad idea....
We still going to Happy Hour
Idk. I can't because it doesn't fit in my schedule of sleeping or throwing up
She was kinda cute. So long as you don't mind neck tattoos and bad life choices.
Are you complaining because you're getting too much sex to find the time to masturbate?
Well, when you say it like that it sounds silly.
I know how to make vodka btw in case you want to come over and do a science project
This Halloween will be different. I'm just here to get shitfaced, not troll around looking for slutty nun pussy.
You're about to makeout with my vagina, I don't think she cares that you haven't brushed your teeth. Just get over here!
It's a noodle incident. All I can say is that it was completely accidental, no one was too seriously injured, and I'm not allowed back to that bar without a designated pusher for my wheelchair.
We did it in the bar bathroom and the bathroom attendant sold us a condom. I love Nashville
you stood in front of the mirror for 20 minutes and finally said, "he can hear everything i'm saying inside my head. we need to leave." now try and tell me there is no such thing as too high.
Drunk man just fell out of said wheelchair
Randomize
