so...dinner was kid's cuisine and a bottle of wine. i think they go well together.
I think, one-on-one, Paul Rudd could be very threatening in like a REALLY good way.
I tried to explain to him that we just wanted a stereotypical black friend to be in our group. He didn't take it too well... Never take me to the bar again.
I have a spoon shaped bruise on my ass...
I mean, I thought you would respect me for turning your life around for the better. It seems just yesterday that I found you in a ditch with a cock in your mouth.
Yeah... I still gave her a hug because I felt really bad though. I mentioned that my boyfriends grandma just died too, just to reinforce that I'm straight afterwards.
Copy that. Decided to shower with a beer in a glass bottle. Gotta stop the bleeding first. Be there is 20
I don't know, I kept pretending that I was riding an elephant during. It was actually really fun, but you can't tell him that!
If the river was whiskey, it would be the best river ever.
Woke up naked on your sister's mattress lying next to a single slice of bread.
But there's never enough margarita money.
This is going to be one of those situations where we lose a day, isn't it
I wore a shirt that says "more tequila" to my bday party last year and that's why I want to be my own friend
when a dude sends me an unwanted dick pic I just send him a picture of a nicer one. A more photogenic one. A dick with a future.
I don't know what that means. Any of it. BUT I will be at your house at 10:20 and you better be ready to get high as balls.
ALL I WANT IS SEMEN IN/ON/AROUND MY BODY. WHY IS HE MAKING THIS SO HARD.
Randomize
