I cant help but queef when the male extremity enters
What is a male extremity?
i didnt realize it was that long since you've had sex
After the sixth shot I started to slur my pauses.
Her vagina smelled like chicken
why do you say that
chicken smells like everything
you blew your rape whistle in his face every time he got near a girl till he left the party...
we smoked out of your homemade aunt jamima bong
She's echoing.. Her head must be in the toilet..
Could have been worst, could have seen me bent over biting her carpet while her son was inside me, i think i would have respnded with "i was just trying to be quiet"
Unfortunately hes not a hipster douchebag with no life goals, so naturally I'm not interested.
hey the jello shots wont freeze
How much Everclear did you put in them?
uhhh all of it
Remember that girl that we found passed out in the dorm study room under a pile of money and jimmy johns wrappers? She's standing right on front of me.
Well start with a list of things you don't want to do... Like maybe 1) I don't want join Isis. That's a good start.
Oh my god if I have to go on fetlife to find a guy who will fuck me right around here, I'm going to scream.
Consider yourself lucky. If I ever run into my ex, all I'll be able to think is, "I let you pee on me and lead me around on a leash."
I apparently lifted the young child over my head yelling "Victory!" after that last game of pool, right before doing some Girls Just Wanna Have Fun karaoke.
I feel like I got hit by a car. But a small car, like a Beetle or a Mini or something.
Randomize
