I just want you to know that me val and amanda are drinking on top of a hill lookig at the chicago skyline drinking icehouse and we just peed in public.
All we had was a keg so we played edward nalgene-hands
The only thing better than Call of Duty is getting jerked off while playing Call of Duty.
They're making scrambled eggs at 2 in the morning... with rum
I bet they don't have a scenario slide on how to deal with a suggested three way with counsel during harassment training.
Left for charity run at 5AM. Saw a pigeon eating last night's vomit and a pair of shame-walkers in high heels. Nature at it's finest.
Anyways, i'm off to play with a rubber dick and a ouija board with two other girls...
i just saw you make out with a girl with facial hair...just thought i would document that in case you forgot
I promise a much better performance tomorrow than last night my penis has a bed time
obviously he wasnt ready for this jelly and you can quote me on that
we're drinking bellinis i mean god's titty nectar
I HAVENT SEEN A PENIS IN 5 WEEKS I REFUSE TO REMAIN CALM
Next time I will hook the Xbox before I get high I spent 30minuts thinking I was playing the Simpsons game when it was in reality a tv episode
You invited these random guys into your apartment that you met in the hallway...& then you started screaming at them to get out cause you didn't know who they were.
okay i know we havent talked for like weeks but i just really wanted to tell you that i miss your dick. like alot.
whose this? and thank you
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