I'm just trying to jam my tits into some coconuts and I'll be on my way
12 garbage cans filled with water, a beer can floating in every garbage can, 20 ft. apart and you shoot with dodge balls..and thats only how the night began
i gave you head in a backbend. if that doesnt say happy birthday i dont know what does.
We need a plan...
Find random men. Use them as sexual objects. There's our plan.
I'm spooning a three legged dog right now. Started drinking whiskey with Breakfast. Best part about being biracial is Irish cousins. Dog Pic Attahed
He stole a bottle of grenadine from the bar. And got arrested. His new cell mate is going to love his bright red lips.
I gave him head in my cape. On the kitchen floor. Watching a show about bacon.
Is it a coincidence that the reminder on my phone to take my birth control is "I'm ready to party" from Bridesmaids?
He dislocated his shoulder trying to finger me last night if that tells you anything
i just hope we're both dead or in prison at the same time
A shark bit my leg in the Gulf of Mexico well me and the T were banging so look for it in the papers
Open the door and I will lure them out to freedom with viagra and candy orange slices. You know they love that shit.
He's a waste of a perfectly good penis.
God does not give you boobs that amazing to not share them with your friends
just threw up in a gas staton parking lot in front of a father and son. stared them in the eyes and finished like a boss
Randomize
