yeah so i didn't even realize i was on meth until the next morning
I'm sorry you missed class, the topic today is copy and paste. I'm not even kidding.
Sorry, can't come over. I have to spend time with my niece. Her Dad ignores her and I don't want her to have male attention issues like you.
Upon further investigation it turns out it wasn't blood, but chocolate frosting from the cupcake I shoved in my pocket to "save for later"
Well, I tried to shit into my refrigerator. It was a rough night.
I just smoked a bowl with the lady who runs the special olympics. Your move.
That's the only way to get approved without a guarantor.
WHAT DOES THAT MEAN WHAT FUCKING LANGUAGE ARE YOU SPEAKING
The best part of the night was you shouting "I have to take the LSAT tomorrow" between shots of fireball.
he brought with him gifts of cookie dough and penis. upgrading our relationship from fwb's to bf/gf was an incredibly smart merger.
Would it kill us to punctuate. That last text took me 5 min to read
WHAT A DUMBASS ugh I'm so glad he looks like a middle aged dad now
He texted "fuck you" before blocking me on all social media. Come to think of it, that's also the last thing my mother said to me. Could it be that I'm the problem?
All that stuff they told us in middle school about drugs being easy to find was a bullshit lie.
No, I barely made it home last nite. Kept telling cab driver I live across the street from Susan Sarandon?? Thank god her coop addy is posted online.
I'm sorry, but if I hear stories of you getting fingered in the ass, and selling weed, you are not coming to my party.
Randomize
