just saw a prosititute with a baby stroller...question is...if the baby wakes up is the blow job free?
i can barely afford taco bell don't think a baby is in the budget
Just pulled an upper-decker at a hardware store. I believe I'm winning 8-2. It's obvious you don't shit enough in public.
is it STILL halloween? when did this turn into a week long holiday
A-plus on my thesis. I deserve the blowjob to end all blowjobs. And I wanna wear a crown while you do it.
Fun fact of the day: Our cat does not like rum.
Walk of shame. Stopped at an estate sale on the way back to the house. Old lady pulled a condom wrapper of the back of my hoodie. beat that
Please tell me how I go from a guy with a coke problem to a cop. My own life doesn't even make sense to me anymore
We just took back to back grav bong hits and are playing battleship. She guessed Z - 12 so weve switched board games.
At Walgreens. I'm getting condoms and a bottle of water so that I'm not "just getting condoms". I don't think I'm fooling anyone though.
The zombie version of you bit my friend's hand. No more zombie crawl for you. Not ever.
The sex may be the only reason I like him. I've confused the multiple orgasms for feelings.
All I got was pictures of my boss and dicks. So, that was the end of snapchat.
Bro you were on fire last night...like a less Irish version of Liam Neeson
Everybody at Lexi's party found out I'm both a screamer and a moaner after he ate me out on the pool table downstairs. Just another sunday night in Alaska
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