just come out here and I will go home with you...
This is awkward. You have a four minute voicemail from me. I would delete it. I accidently hit your number on speed dial and called you while I was vomiting a mai tai.
You know your from las vegas when the girl on the stage in the strip club was in my US gov class senior year
Ya,, he does have virgin eyes. Thats a real thing you know...
Oh my gosh they are following me around the bar
Blow your rape whistle
I'm helping my Mormon ex boyfriend from high school embrace his inner cross dresser. This is truly god's work.
You know I told you about that hammering at 3 AM yesterday? Turns out it was Holly beating the lock out of her door with a mallet because she'd forgotten her keys.
Doesn't she keep a spare?
Drunk Holly doesn't listen to Sober Holly's plans.
Lights are FLASHING. This just got REAL. CAPTALIZATION.
do you remember the random banging on my door at 3 am wearing 2 budlight cases as a dress
No one suspects that a sweet girl who is excited about her anniversary with her bf just blew her partner at work in a communal area a few hours ago, so its cool.
OMG THE KID WHO TRIED TO MAKE OUT AT THE BAR WITH ME IS SITTIG NEXT TO ME IN THE AIRPORT. WHY LIFE WHY???
Who put the meatball sub on my door handle?
That moment that random you banged behind the bar is going to be your son's third grade teacher... yup I'm there.
would it be okay if I showed up at your house naked? and is your door unlocked?
Step 1 was make out with him. so now we just need to come up with step 2.
Randomize
