they just came back. i guess "were gonna go get dinner" means "were gonna fuck for 5 minutes at the little league field"
just saw ex-bf. should he be more embarrassed to be a college dropout working at rite aid or should i be because i was buying newports and rembrant?
tie
Im doing kagels to the beat of Christmas music... "Jingle Bells" is hard. Try it.
Taking the airport shuttle drunk should not happen this often in my life.
i have a $600 bill for my ER visit in which they did nothing but suggest to me that i am an alcoholic.
I woke up to an email from Groupon for 3 laser lipo treatments...on Valentine's Day...way to kick me when I'm down Groupon.
I don't think he wanted to hear that my most serious relationship was my 1 1/2 year fuck buddy... I think he figured out that's where he's heading
Dude you took some guys glasses off his face and ran out of the bar
If you can count on one hand the number of times you have actually, truly nearly died this month, then you are not really living yet.
She's comparing the feel of breasts to shredded cabbage. Weirdest. Grandmother. Ever.
Only three months past my 21st and I'm done. So many life lessons in so little time.
I give up. I can't handle that class sober any longer. I have an army of whiskey shooters for the next three weeks. Wish me luck.
I'm going to three dry weddings this month. I'm flashing three dry weddings this month
I'm just trying to win a butt plug dude
It’s 830 am and the amount of Valentine’s Day snaps I’ve already seen makes me either want to vom, drink a bottle of wine, or buy chocolate
1000% No lie I was just looking on insta and was thinking about taking a bottle of wine to the face..
Randomize
