I keep trying to leave, but for some reason I'm staying
I didn't know that people actually queef. Is this a real thing?
I believe so, yes.
Would you be offended if I asked if it has happened to you?
kerrys trying to convince everyone in the bar shes a lesbian. cheers to not being the drunkest girl in the room. i probably wont piss myself tonight.
I got to watch him fuck me from behind in the reflection of an ornament. so glad I decorated.
Life's too short to consider the larger psychological underpinnings of my lust.
It got awkward when the girl working at planned parenthood continued to hit on me, after she knew about my STDs.
Before you say anything, my vagine does NOT discriminate against young dads
He told the cop he was underage, handed the cop his ID, and the police report read "I then informed the suspect that he was not, in fact, underage"
I either just got free sex or a nice jail sentence. Text me in 10 to verify.
May or may not have just lost a contact hanging out Anthony's sunroof. Drunk. Hint: I can only see out of one eye right now.
And I'm still awake, and you left me. Like the guy on Jurassic Park, that jumped out of the car expecting me to save myself while there is a man eating T-rex ready to tear my ass apart except theres a mathematician and paleontologist there to save me because they are bad asses.
She has this wild look other eyes like she wouldn't be afraid to commit a felony.
I'm bonding with your girlfriend. I like her. We're plotting your demise.
I even put my vibrators back in the bedroom instead of the coffee table. If that's not growing up then I don't know what is.
Yes. With one-hundred percent positivity I can say yes, I do not want you covered in waffles and syrup when I come home.
Randomize
