Bea Arthur died! :(
What?
Big bird passed.
i want to bang the Snorg tees girl.. shes always smiling ;)
When else am I ever going to have a chance to do lines with T-Pain?
Got robbed by knifepoint. Then got sympathy Bj. I might have to walk down Austin ave drunk every weekend
The way I see it, everyone on campus has a fake, but I'm the only person who actually makes beer in their dorm.
The last thing I remember is feeding country fried steak to my best friend in a bubble bath with my bare hands.
Cock is NEVER random. You may quote me on that.
Halloween night fail: My boob sweat from keeping my phone in my bra caused the front screen to stop working from water damage.
Happy Thanksgiving! Hope its not too awkward that your dad and your boyfriend are the same age.
Chipotle. Because when you've had diarrhea for 6 days why not just make it 7
the second she challenged me to mario kart drinking game i knew i was in love
There are 6 of us in a mini cooper and his maid is in the trunk...she needed a ride.
beach body workouts will consist of dancing and cocaine, and sugar free redbull
We could just go to Vegas and celebrate my singlehood and not contributing to the population.
Yeah, let's go with that. Fuck that weak moment of complete honesty I just had.
Randomize
