Stoned at DSW. SO MANY SHOES! THEY'RE FREAKING ME OUT.
Is it weird for a girl to post pictures of her dildo no facebook?
The first sip always goes straight to my vagina.
Just walked by a group of guys calling out walks of shame with a mega phone from their front porch.
We ended not having sex. I didn't want to explain that I was wearing a Unitard because all my socks and underwear were dirty.
FYI, Sammie and I made the executive decision that we're getting a pet octopus and keeping it in the ballpit. Just thought you should know.
I have just gotten home. I saw a lot of penis tonight. On a trampoline. Shit got weird.
On the bad side I puked, but on the bright side I puked lettuce which was a new experiance
Is there a special protocol when the stripper has a Boba Fett tattoo?
I might run out into oncoming traffic. Id rather break my legs and/or die then continue with today.
I don't think I have face palmed that many times in such a short period. And I've worked tech support.
I may or may not have tried to give myself a lobotomy
I NEED TO TAKE A FUCKING BREAK. MY VAGINA IS SMOKING.
I HAVENT HAD A NICE A NICE DICK SINCE FEBRUARY!! I WANNA KEEP THIS ONE!!!
Do you ever just want to be mashed potatoes?
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