I served up a girl her first a2m the other day. You would have been proud.
i just watched a video of two girls fucking with a banana and i thought of you.
i hate you
i'm so high that my cigarette just tasted like chef boyardee. no lie.
you told me to make out with him to promote the social success of the sorority
You took a fire extinguisher off the wall in the hallway to play Ghostbusters.
I don't remember anything but yelling at the ref in Spanish.
She climbed through the window and into my bed. Not even sure who she is. Was thinking she might be a friend of yours?
I have a new game. It's called "how weird can you act before a guy won't fuck you". I've deducted most guys are willing even if you're batshit insane.
Plus, it's just valuable. Virgin pee is very well-priced.
Carver called his mom a milf again
Was it on purpose this time?
No it's like. I don't respect you. And I think you're a terrible person but. I still wanna bone it out.
Can we just agree for a moment that semen in your sinuses is the fucking worst?
Beard. Chest hair. Job.
The holy trinity.
you were so high you just watched the elf.... its spring
If it makes you feel better he's in the stall next to me and I'm taking a diabolical shit. He's complaining
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