Di me a solid and hit me with your car.
i just want his dick, seriously i'm about to take trifiling lessons. we'll call my alter-ego blair and she will screw his brains out, girlfriend or not.
i made the cop pinkie-promise not to arrest me if i failed the breathalizer.
I'm gonna answer everything she says with 'cum on da face' until she breaks up with me...great idea or greatest idea?
I almost masterbated to the avatar love scene ha it was so hot
Question: rebounding with your exboyfriend over your rebound guy is healthy right?
I'm hungover in the park, and some guy just handed me a business card for his church. I can feel Jesus' disapproval running through my fingertips
Within 24 hours, I went to a feminist documentary screening with two state reps and you hate fucked a rent-a-cop on the helipad of your hospital. Somewhere our lives went in different directions.
I still make more money.
If I puke off the kayak tomorrow think nothing of it.
Strip mythology. Everyone wins. Most of all me.
I woke up this morning and the lid to the back of my toilet was missing. Dahfaq do I do with this shit?
No, seriously, I've slept with 3 guys this month.
It's ok, February is a short month
He's short and fat and honestly I think he's what my self esteem was made for
His dick is a spiritual experience and meditation is very important to me.
I remember being like "I can't hold both of you guy's hair back!" so I put headbands on each of you
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