I just need someone to hold me and tell me i dont turn boys gay
It's official. Every single female in their late teens and early 20s get their fb statuses from a pool of cliched "quotes" which all say, without saying, "boys treat me like shit, I know they do, but one day I'll find 'the guy' who will treat me right no matter how psychotic I am." Vom.
She never called back. Financed a fleshlight.
We have to give a final comment in english, i think i might say "i learned it's a bad idea to make out with people in your classes who have girlfriends."
People said that when they tried to talk to me I answered that there was a glass around my head stopping me from answering them
Not a chance. She stuck her hand under my kilt and she told the whole table I was indeed commando. She broke all the rules.
You never cared about felonies while buying me alcohol from the little Asian woman across the street
My parents are takin me for chinese food for my 4/20 present.
I fucking hate you.
Well I'm in a stranger's bed.
Gotta leave to watch the Lions
My greatest achievement in life thus far is being the go to friend when you have questions about butt plugs.
That last one reminds me of the time we smoked that foot-long joint and by the time we'd finished we were so stoned we applauded it.
When I got home he was in his underpants on the couch, eating pop tarts and crying while watching Voltron.
2017 is my year to realize stuff. Move over Kylie Jenner
If my dildo had feelings, they. Would've deffinately been hurt. He put that toy to shame..
Every time I look at him 'Relax' by Frankie Goes to Hollywood plays in my head. Is that weird?
Randomize
