Yea and his cousin visited from central and i fucked her i was texting him at work teasin him about it but sent it to his mom by accident
I think it's safe to say that I made out with the entire msu campus this weekend
seriously this is one of those moments where im glad i dont really talk to or know the people i sleep with
Well said.
I just wnated to let you know that I laminated my history notes so i can study in the shower.
Just bought plan B with a coupon. Told the pharmacist I like to keep it classy.
Every day you talk to me ... I literally love you more..
I sat on his lap and we shared a beer. I feel like that's an invitation to his dick.
She had me dip my balls in cake batter ice cream from cold stone and then tea bag her. Let's get weird just got a whole new meaning.
If you're receiving this text it's probably because I drunkenly flashed you on Saturday. Sorry for forcing you to look at my tits. That was uncalled for.
The bartender said he wanted to turn you gay, and we got free shots the rest of the night
I got my little bro high for the first time... Turns out the two of us stoned together is a mess. We spent 10 minutes trying to communicate with each other using just our eyebrows.
i forgot to brush my teeth before I went over so i went to the bathroom and started eating his toothpaste. we're still in the early stages of fuckdom
So this was during drunk golfing. She started wacking me off on the ninth hole and an old couple rolls up next to us. And Says "hey gu- oh my golly" and while my penis is in her hand I'm like "sorry you guys can play through"
Dude. Woke up this morning wearing that chick's panties. 8/10, would recommend. I love tequila.
Am I getting cock blocked by karaoke? That's a first.
I just got promised sex at a fire station tonight so basically all my porn star dreams are coming true.
Randomize
