Would it be quicker to bike the freeway home?
youre so sexy i want your bod
dude, did you turn gay?
heather?
this is jacob
I am pretty sure the guy in the stall two dwn from me is jerking it...seriously
dude do u know what u did last night?
do i wanna know???
you totally walked in on some couple fuckin in their unlocked dorm room asking for directions to ur room...
so he just left - touched my cheek like he was gona kiss me and then gave me a fist bump?
i hit her car. ill just send her a farmville gift in the morning. then it'll be alright.
left comments onEVRY SINGLE1of my posts n status updates.Im done dating freshmen
He's got a pretty small dick but he's a total sweetheart. I'm gonna buy a new dildo and just deal with it.
They thought "watering it down" meant adding more vodka
They just came out of my bathroom and asked if I could spare them a condom. See. Its a good thing I have some.
Just found out they make medicinal lollipops, bought like 40 of them. Gonna go fill a pediatricians lollipop bowl.
Oh I woke up in my neighbors garage using one of their sleeping bags, as my neighbor was doing laundry in there.
Totally uneven. One tiny pussy lip that almost didn't exist and one giant lip that unfurled liked 5 different times half way down her leg and could have been used to hoist the mainsail on a pirate ship.
we are the best best friends ever. You had sex in an ice cream truck I had sex in a fire truck
Anyone who does not know who Paul McCartney is does NOT get to put hands in my pants
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