I'm surprised I didn't puke tonight
Prereq for being on nyc prep: money, bitchy, and a lazy eye... if only you were rich
I am at a striph cluv. They are ovealls everywhere. I have hot rock botto.
There was a lot of him and a little penis
Dude its barely eleven am and there is already a firetruck and ambulance at the shamrock...happy st paddys day
I just ate a cashew that looked EXACTLY like your dick.
My spanish isn't great but I'm pretty sure he was calling me a "little monkey" while I was blowing him
I don't even know. I woke up in the bathtub with no shirt, covered in towels holding what appeared to be vanillia pudding mixed with captain morgan.
you left me with this keg alone. this is on your hands
Why do I always miss the parties you're naked at?!
I get naked cuz your not there
It's been a year of occasional hook ups....this was bound to happen sometime even with your jank ovary schedule.
THANK YOU for not letting me make out with that girl omfg I was one step away from a foursome in the handicapped stall
yeah...well...life isn't all puppies & lap dances
I slept through 4/20 and my roommates bought an entire ham that's just sitting in the fridge...
Wanna guess where my charger was last night.....in my cooler with my beer. I put it in there because I knew I would never forget my beer.
Randomize
