I just dont think you can meet a stranger after youve heard them cum through the walls though
Do you think i can prewrite an apology on friday and leave it vague enough to just finish on sunday?
I wasn't trying to be rude when I hurriedly walked past you, but I can not put in to words exactly how bad I had to shit.
the old man that you threw the shoe at says "hi" and many rude words...
I woke up naked on his boat with a cowboy hat on with a boat cover over me... Thank you tequila!
Come over so we can have two person sex in this one person tent
I woke up this morning with a pop tart under my pillow with one bite eaten. Another pop tart was in the floor. No recollection whatsoever. I ate the one under my pillow for breakfast, though.
He sent me a recycled dick pic! He could at least use one without sunlight in it, considering it's 10pm
We started a fund for a baby in a wine glass, I think we're pretty responsible.
Drunk wound on my leg hast healed and neither has my dignity
She was from Wisconsin, she had great boobs... I mean... It's a dairy state....
We just took an Eskimo family picture.. It's pretty cute honestly
Come here I'm naked
And I want mozzarella sticks
Waking up with cheese all over my clothes and my vibrator in my pants is a sign we drank way too much tequila last night
I'm not the kind of girl that sleeps with someone else's boyfriend. But I'm getting waxed just in case I change my mind...
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