my dad just encouraged me to do a kegstand
Dude, just discovered frito and mozzarella nachos. Don't say I never contributed anything to this world.
The mexican place next the the funeral home has dollar margaritas, our grandfather would want us to act on this... trust me i know.
it was a weeks worth of wine for $20. it would have been fiscally irresponsible to not buy it.
The future queen of Norway was pregnant with a druglord's baby when she met the prince. We still have hope.
i am pretty sure she ate my hamster last night. i am thinking this because she left me a note that says she ate my hamster and my hamster is no longer in its hamster cage.
A baby just go on our party bus. What. The. Fuck.
Succesfully slept on the roof at work for 3.5 hours without getting caught. I need a promotion
No no I got the black eyes when I tried to do a flip off the second deck of a pontoon boat. Actually when I did a flip, it was a success.
I'm at some strange place in what feels like Mexico, high and getting tacos.
I know more about this girls vagina than I know about her personality
im pretty sure the interns at this hospital have gotten hotter
dude...i punched my best friend in the face, broke up with my girlfriend, and shit my pants.......now i don't know which one to take care of first.
It's amazing what a couple of orgasms can do for a girls demeanor.
The hat, the beard, the hard posing - like who does he think he is?
A bag of dicks
That's dating life
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