Sry I called you an 8
I woke up and peed for 26 seconds this morning. 26 seconds!
I just got cut off for correcting the bartender's grammar. I should have never accepted that fucking editors position.
You are missing out on the best boobs in town right now
Dammit. I drunkenly drank all my milk at 6 AM in a misguided stupor to prevent my roommates from stealing my milk.
the world took limewire and four lokos away from me in one week....hello depression
If I am going to pay someone to make me puke, it's going to be the bartender.
I'm in the room..It's full of lost souls and sadness. I can taste the salt of their tears. This final might take a few freshman today..
Hey, remember when Hot Stuff played in the back of the ambulance? Or no, cause of your concussion...
DOUBLE NIPPLE PIERCINGS ARE HORRIFYING
The profile of her ass is just unreal. Weird way to use profile I know, but never more accurate
You made me take a photo of you under the stairs at the bar. "Look I'm Harry Potter."
You pretty much lost your mind. Your ego has gotten ten time the size of your balls.
Watching the blind side bc I need a good cry to make sure I'm still human after this weekend's questionable life choices
We fucked. Had a political debate. I won. So I sat on his face.
Randomize
