yeah she is the one who tells people i beat girls.. which ironically make me want to punch her in the face
weak ass sauce last night. waste of time. you suck. ps. your boobs are fake
So i just got diagnosed with swine flu. im at walgreens looking like shit and this guy keeps staring at me. Im so gonna cough in his face.
well, dont
I didnt. i just coughed then looked at him menacingly. he got it.
Lauren will drop me off I'll be drunk ride you for a little bit and then you can go to sleep
sorry. that wasn't for you
I'm sitting in class drinking a forty out of a paper bag. No ones said anything yet. I think my professor is trying to ignore me. Better start yelling louder.
I walked in and she was doing shots, betting the managers if any of the customers would notice, and screaming that nothing would ruin her Saturday night. Say what you want, I like working with my sister.
Do you want the really bad news or the bad news? Or do you want it in chronological order?
Interesting preview of what next year will be like. Side note, missing a chunk of flesh from my middle finger.
when life gives you lemons, puke and rally.
the repo guy said it was the first time he'd ever started to repo a car with someone fucking inside of it. he might have said 'doing it' instead.
Seriously just confirmed via our bathroom scale that a keg weighs 170lbs
I vaguely remember having a cowboy explain his belt buckle to me in the bathroom hallway
It's going to be like a slumber party but with ketamine
Let’s try it, I’ve never had a bad time with sex, tacos and beer.
are you the reason the first floor girls' bathroom smells like weed?
Randomize
