dude..why do i always have to pick up the kitty litter after you drink?
Of course she's mad at you. You Kanye Wested a picture of her catching snowflakes in her mouth. "imma let you finish but..." was the shaft and you put two of Kanye West's heads for the balls.
i just ate two sandwiches and am debating booty calling my landlord
You're having sex and i just smoked and made oatmeal...i'll give you some time to be jealous
If you dedicate your next bite to me, I'll dedicate my first orgasm to you.
I could feel myself puking on my feet but it was so warm i didnt even care.
This is the 4th time we've hooked up, and this morning we woke up, he got out of bed and left. Left me alone in his apartment with 3 of his friends. Without even a word. Why do i like this guy?
There is a good chance that the other night after a wedding reception i was at that i mailed you a drink coaster.
work has become about six times more interesting since i started fucking my boss.
I just finished packing for spring break, took me 4 minutes. To be fair though I only put my trunks, a pair of underwear, and 50 condoms in my bag.
I'll be in SoCal at my bachelorette party, aka embracing a fireman covered in KY and chocolate shavings.
u kept repeating to itself "hot cheetos and nacho cheese sauce.."
is it just me or does "lol" kill any sort of vibe while sexting?
your marriage is hazardous to my nightlife
yea, mine too.
I've got two reasons for you to come over later and one of them is pierced.
He ate me out on the front lawn of the post office. The people in the office across the road definitely got a show!
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