Yeah but my nose is so stuffed if I tried to give him head I'd suffocate
do you know mcdonalds refuses to give out large cups of water now? you have to buy a bottle or they give you a small cup. No exceptions.
RUDE.
I said FINE, then I'd like 7 small waters and 2 of those nifty carrying cases to carry about my h2o.
outsmarted mickey deeeees
Just incase you were wondering, the count of ladies who have perioded on chairs at our fine restaurant is now at 3.
It just sucks seeing everyone get flowers but me...
yeah, but they die. it takes a while, but they die. just like all of these kids relationships will. tequila doesnt die. its a live in the moment thing... like a valentines day one night stand. so long run, tequila is the better gift.
No, I stopped taking my meds because I like crazy me better
Wait time out. Did I start last night with pants?
You can't just send the picture of my vagina back to me, 2 months after we broke up, and make small talk out of it.
You kept apologizing for not offering me some of your Whisky, which you referred to as "Jesus Nectar".
The best, and by the best I mean the worst, was the 7 month along pregnant chick in the skin tight body suit.
If this first date goes well and I like him, I won't sleep with him. But if it doesn't go well, I'll sleep with him.
I'm just waiting for the avalanche of beef.
After we got done he told me to hold his penis because it helps him fall asleep
I could not handle jail. And my very angry parents.
So... I may have accidentally just sat on a strip of a home waxing kit.. naked... Assistance is definitely needed....
Well, while we went through airport security, I found out Mom got her clit pierced, so there's that.
Randomize
