This girl is very crazy
She's one of those compassionate ppl
So everything I said on this seemingly endless date offended her
matt is drinking blue powerade and it looks like he has hypothermia. i can't take this kid anywhere.
i just defriended some girl because according to her status she "doesn't give a fuck about shark week."
No idea how i never noticed that penis before. I wonder if it works
Wow anytime a scalper has i need tix written on the back of a franzia box thats a trusted seller
You were rubbing your foot on one of your legs and kept saying, "My sock feels like a waterslide!"
Tonight will bring shame to my future grandchildren.
It took me fifteen minutes to go from puking on my doorstep infront of my old lady neighbor to legit presentable person able to care for children. Bronzing powder and I deserve an award.
I almost just texted "I'm lonely" to my gynecologist.
it's not that I hate people, I just want to rip most of their faces off.
He told me he loved me and then peed his own bed. So at least it was a memorable one night stand.
he left a full can of coors light underneath my windshield wiper, like a love note. if that's not husband material, i don't know what is
On a scale from 1-10 how fucked up would it be to buy weed with my fafsa money?
It's a study aid
Just beer bonged through a snorkel, add that to the list
How can i make it up 2 u?
DREW I AM SMOKING POT AND FUCKING. WE CANNOT DISCUSS THIS AT THIS PARTICULAR JUNCTURE.
Randomize
