i overslept, had to take a cab to the train station, might puke, bought the wrong flavored vitamin water, and mj's dead. what a terrible world to wake up to.
no. i seriously look so gross with this sunburn. i wouldnt even wanna bang myself. and im really into myself.
My workout was carrying 2 cases home from the grocery. It's Bowl Week.
Also, just saw a kid in a gorilla costume being questioned by a boardwalk cop. I love ocean city.
she just convinced the cop to buy us ice-cream sandwiches. best/worst stoned experience ever.
I'm pretty sure that I'm earning a horrible reputation with your friends, but I'm having a fucking great time in the process.
um, yes. it's my birthday, of course there will be acid.
...im seriously confused as to why this doesn't make sense to you. Girl hostage, rob casino. Makes perfect sense.
We got a kitchen table so we would eat together more. So far we've played drunken monopoly and had sex on it.
But break dance skills will only take you so far
I tried to twerk on a barn in 3 inch heels at a party last night and nose dived into mud. These were all new friends. I'm probably not allowed back. Cool.
Just busted the chick who slept with my boyfriend with alcohol. God I love being an RA.
She doesn't believe I only want to use you for sex. She has a much higher opinion of me than either of us do.
And then I realized my chick friends consist only of sober you, drunk you and hungover you
It went from a "chill game of beer pong" to "absinthe body shots and a tits parade" in literally two minutes.
Told you inviting her was a good idea.
Randomize
