Come back if u want to. I'll do some dirty shit to u mamacita.
yeah bitch needs to recognize there's only one person with this face
They were so slutty we had to play "rarely have I ever."
i just deleted quailman, hot hawaiian dude, appalachian swimmer, and connecticut from my phone
She's the only one so far who hasn't laughed at me naked.... I'm gonna marry her.
They had half off shots during the fourth quarter. I was powerless.
He just texted me asking if I remember pinching his eyelid shut with my eyelash curler.
There's cereal in my underwear. Was I in your apartment at any time last night? That's the only logical explanation for this.
Well we went from the roof to the stairwell to an air mattres. One day were going to fuck in a bed
I walked into her room to find her sitting on the end of her bed with her heads in her hands talking to herself. She kept muttering things like "What? How? No. What? I don't --- How?" $10 says she's pregnant.
I'll see to your $10 and raise you $40.
And then you refused to pee in anything but a sink
Yeah I mean subtle isn't how I'd describe your flirtation strategy last night
There was a clear and well defined point last night where I could've decided to go home but no now I've woken up with glitter all over my nuts and potentially an std or 2
I told him you forbid me to sleep with him so he needs to accept that.
Someone just said “I need to use up this money before I’m tits up under the dirt” so I think I’m going to start using that in my daily vocabulary.
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