come downstairs quick. our boyfriends are having a dance off in nothing but their underwear and shoes. and they have semis too.
Just found out you can rent the rollerena for 100 bucks and you can bring your own beer... when are you free this week?
I just passed on expense account drinking, this must be the worst hangover ever.
This is the guy who showed up to the first day of class with a 24 pack of coke and a handle of rum in his backpack. He doesnt play by normal people rules.
in the past 3 nights i've fucked a millionaire, a drug dealer and a civil engineer... i dont really have a "type" anymore
theres a turtle on the table. helping me eat my ramon noodles.
passed a homeless guy with a sign that read "420 vetran" we gave him a bowl of bud
We decided we needed a drinks fridge in our bathroom.
I'm gonna drop in for a zip later man. It made me wanna eat my girls shampoo. Good shit
What's the standard Christmas present for six months of booty calls?
Mobile recharge?
I thought my broken hand would put a damper on Halloween, but fake costume eyelashes and hydrocodone are kinda fun at the same time.
well a fat roach just fell out of my hair. so there's that
I DONT WANT YOUR DICK. I WANT BRUNCH.
I feel fine lol. I tried climbing a tree but the branch broke and I got arrested.
Also, in case they didn’t tell you… there is a chicken living in your old room… so I would assume cleaning that is now on them
Randomize
