3:40 am: you never wrote back on my facebook wall
It's sad because pictures are supposed to say a thousand words, and theirs just say 'fat'
She handed me a mouthguard and said "here, you're going to need this" that rough.
i swear to god even though i took those meds before coming here i did not hallucinate zulema silently throwing up into a breakfast burrito
I'll call it a relationship when I stop masturbating after he goes to sleep
do not get into a discussion with my roommate when im sitting there naked ever again.
Can you explain to me the broken disco ball in my front yard?
I knew from the second he called his penis glorious that I was meant to sleep with him
I say go for the trifecta and maybe you'll get a medal or something. Or a baby. That's like the same thing right?
Yoga may not b such a good idea for me today. My liver is obviously in cahoots with my colon to pay me back for the past 24 days of misuse . Downward dog could have catastrophic consequences.
Not now. Out of camp chairs. Carving a new one with a chainsaw. Mushrooms are starting to kick and I gotta get this done NOW.
In case you're wondering... Yes walmart will judge you for buying vodka and pickles at 645am.
He's really cute...He stopped talking to me because i pulled my skirt up and peed in a demi plie position...
We are totally like Jim and Pam, except ya know, drunk and not together anymore.
Im going for myspace 2006 goth bitch. Your worst nightmare
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