I regularly think about how cool your nickname is
WORST DINGLEBERRY EVER
If its called oral, why is it so hard to talk?
Last night drunk me texted a sure to be hungover me my class schedule and locations for today. I'm like a mom preparing her child for the first day of school
Oh my god! She wrote the word ''hi'' in HAIR on the shower wall. What the fuck?!
He threw up. He never throws up. It was like finding out superman cant fly anymore. I was so sad for him.
he was very distressed by my statements that there could have been balls on shoulders without awareness
Ive seen him cuddling a giant inflatable seahorse. Nothing could be creepier than that.
I had sex with a Dutch boy on a rock last night. Happy graduation! x x
For future reference.... When you take a beer out of a 6pack... You don't insert your phone as a substitute.
I just googled "can they trace a vibrator back to you" so that' s how my life it going.
So, I had a dream last night that involved you as an actual cloaked Captain America and a lot of weird sex, and I didn't hate it.
You know the sex was rough when you wake up with a chipped tooth. I have no regrets
Bacon and your penis are involved. Of course I'm going over.
I feel like i'm being yelled at when you type in all caps.Did you just have bad sex?
Randomize
