Walked home this morning with my contacts in a shot glass.
First class.
Can't talk right now. I'm doing tequila shots with my professor at some Mexican bar. That's how I prepare for finals.
If I get aids I am starting a lawsuit against snapchat.
This is what my life has come to. Like, I may or may not have just stolen pizza from the guy I just hooked up with's fridge when I left...
I don't remember much and some girl almost convinced me to jump off the bridge while she held my stuff...
Either of you know why the shower was on and the bathroom door wide open with no one in there at 6 in the morning?
either I'm really high or that last bong rip tasted like christmas
what's your room number? I've never been there sober...
gonna guess the empty vodka bottle and open can of tuna in the bathroom drawer are related?
My name will be tattooed on his ass by sunday.
I've got to stop being so hungover that I puke in the fine establishments of this glorious town.
Kinda suprised you didn't immediately ask about the lesbian ghosts tho
YOLO is a great motto until you end up with Chlamydia
He was walking around and kept offering the neighbors flamingo lawn ornaments shots of vodka.
I just tried to dye my pubic hair teal for her
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