it's just like freshman year of high school, with more drugs
No flights in Europe due to the volcano erupting. God himself is telling me to spend 4.20 in Amsterdam.
His threats seemed pretty legit for a 6 year old
Could be my worst decision since the whole 'third degree burn' fiasco.
Just call Katie. She's like the drunk whisperer; she can get them to do anything.
Sent him a snap chat of him eating me out so he can relive the moment.
Easter bunny might get some gnarly munches and not even have enought candy left to hand out
You have all semester to unpack your car, quarter jello shots only last until 10.
We just catapulted a jelly bean off of his hard dick into his mouth.......Happy Easter!
Dude...itll be a youre-still-a-dick-but-a-hot-one-angry-hate-evil-spite kinda fuck. This is acceptable.
Speaking of dignity, who all saw me....
If he brings home bacon, dont let him leave. Dont screw this one up. this may be our last chance.
Well, thanks for not letting me sleep with anyone, but no thanks for telling everyone I have the clap.
I had Mac n cheese made with weed butter last night. Epic
My arm is completely dead, never again will i give you a 20 minute hand job. You better have enjoyed that asshole. I have to text with my left hand now.
Randomize
