Ok let me ask a question, does aderall make women less apt to have sex?
Cause it just destroys penises
Was that inappropriate? I can't gauge these things anymore
I dreamt Michael Jackson dropped his pants in front of me and I had to ignore it.
Just saw a guy at the gas station legitimately dressed in exactly what my costume was last night. Fuck his life.
remember when mike pissed in his pants and then put a double cheeburger in the pocketsss of said wet pants for "safe keeping"? yea drunker then that.
last night this guy was hitting on me by showing me the famous people he had in his contacts on his cell... when he asked me if i knew lindsay lohan, i said "whose that? sounds asian"
If there was a creeper hall of fame you and me would be the first two inductees
Just found a dugout in my rental car glove box. Suddenly my mood is upbeat.
Then you can skip the embarrassing can I date your ex since you're a lesbian now conversation
She said she wanted to have closure sex.
I'm just saying, no one has ever made me laugh or cum as hard as you do. Sometimes at the same time which I didn't know was possible. Is there even a word for that besides love?
Wow. I feel like a bad friend. My fuckbuddy wished you a happy birthday before I did. The reality of that just hit me.
Thanks for having me and my emotional baggage over last night.
Listen, I bought the coke that got us those free drinks, okay? Show some respect.
I'm totally picking out my shrooming outfit and blankets right now
Happiness is laying in bed, topless, pouring 4 packs of hot sauce on your taco bell.
Randomize
