Nothing gets me like the O.C. theme song does.
u just dont fucking get it...you try and cum while your cat is staring at you.
Yo dude either Brian has herpes or he was jerking off to Web MD 'cause I just walked in on him
Nobody in the ambulance liked me...
I can feel my moral fiber fraying.
Sit down my child. It's time you were told of my famous loss-of-virginity story entitled, "The Penis that Never Could."
Did you send me a snapchat of your sister triple kissing two other girls?!!! You might be the greatest friend the world ever made
Why is my car covered in what appears to be salsa verde?
Stumbled across a pregnancy test in my closet. Oh, the freshman year flashbacks..
We got drunk and crashed a fifty year old woman's birthday party for the food. Whoops.
It's amazing how hard it it while drunk to not comment "fuck you" on dumb peoples' statuses
He sent me a picture of Reese's peanut butter cups next to his dick. Of course I went over.
oh you can't commit, don't have any real ambitions, and love to drink PBR? well.... sign me up!
but next to his bed he has a bible, and on the bible he has a pbr coaster and a condom. how can i stay mad at that? Its amazing.
Give me the sexing that I truly desire and I will reveal to you the mysterious location of the PBR's
Randomize
